whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
