Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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