you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
