yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
