I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
