she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
