If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
