It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
