you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Come share oat with me in your robe
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