He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
