I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
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