CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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