dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
