i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
