Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
