idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
