remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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