he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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