You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
