that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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