Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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