ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
