why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
