I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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