PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
