I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
