I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
