Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
