So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
