i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
