I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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