Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
