bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
