thus making me awesome and them whores
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
