she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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