She said her name was "party"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
