Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
