Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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