The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
