We're facebook friends in real life
You're completely useless in the revolution.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
