***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
