brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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