i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
