Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
