I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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