i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
wow bdsm is so cute
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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