You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
