You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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