No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
