im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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